(no subject)

Ate until I hurt earlier. Took a nap. Woke up and stomach still hurts. Mom called and said something like "holes in your heart?" over the kids leaving, and I said, "no, I filled them all with food" and she made (astonishingly, weirdly) a sympathetic noise and didn't push.
Keep applying to jobs on indeed and craigslist, but aside from getting tons of spam, no interviews or anything. Why was it important that I finish my degree? Exactly what was it supposed to do for me?
Feel hopeless and don't even have the kids to play with now.